wishesandcalled 911 insteadofthehospiceservice.The
emergency medical technicians and firefighters and
policerushedin.Theypulledoffherclothesandpumped
herchest,putatubeinherairwayandforcedoxygeninto
herlungs,andtriedtoseeiftheycouldshockherheart
back. But such efforts rarely succeed with terminal
patients, and they did not succeed with her.
Hospicehastriedtooffer anewidealforhowwedie.
Although not everyone has embracedits rituals, those
whohavearehelpingtonegotiateanarsmoriendiforour
age.Butdoingsorepresentsastruggle—notonlyagainst
suffering but also against the seemingly unstoppable
momentum of medical treatment.
JUST BEFORE THANKSGIVING, Sara Monopoli, her
husband,Rich,andhermother,DawnThomas,metwith
Dr.Marcouxtodiscusstheoptionsshehadleft.Bythis
point,Sarahadundergonethreeroundsofchemotherapy
withlimited,ifany,effect.PerhapsMarcouxcouldhave
discussedwhatshemostwantedasdeathnearedandhow
besttoachievethosewishes.Butthesignalhegotfrom
Sara andher family wasthattheywished totalk only
aboutthenexttreatment options.Theydidnotwant to
talk about dying.
Later,afterherdeath,IspoketoSara’shusbandandher
parents.Saraknewthatherdiseasewasincurable,they
pointedout.Theweekaftershewasgiventhediagnosis
and deliveredherbaby, shespelled outher wishesfor
Vivian’s upbringing after she was gone. On several
occasions,shetoldherfamilythatshedidnotwanttodie
inthehospital.Shewantedto spendherfinalmoments
peacefullyathome.Buttheprospectthatthosemoments