moldforuptoanhour,afishnetmaskpulledtightover
hisface,unabletomovetwomillimetersastheradiation
machineclickedandwhirredanddelivereditsdailyblast
ofgammaraysintohisbrainstemandspinalcord.Over
time, however, he experienced stabbing spasms in his
backandneck.Eachday,thepositionbecameharderto
endure.Theradiationalsograduallyproducedalow-level
nausea and a caustic throat pain when he swallowed.
With medications,thesymptoms becametolerable, but
thedrugsmadehimfatiguedandconstipated.Hebegan
sleeping away theday after his treatments, something
he’d never done in his life. Then a few weeks into
treatment, his sense of taste disappeared. Theyhadn’t
mentionedthepossibility,andhefeltthelosskeenly.He
loved food. Now he had to force himself to eat.
By the time he returned home, he’d lost twenty-one
poundstotal.Hehadaconstanttinnitus,aringinginhis
ears.Hisleftarmandhandhadanewburning,electrical
pain.Andasforhissenseoftaste,thedoctorsexpectedit
to return soon, but it never did.
Nothingimproved,intheend.Helost yetmoreweight
that winter.He fell to just 132 pounds.The left-hand
numbnessandpainclimbedabovehiselbowinsteadof
reducingashoped.Thenumbnessinhislowerextremities
roseabovehisknees.Theringinginhisearswasjoined
byasenseofvertigo.Theleftsideofhisfacebeganto
droop.Theneckandbackspasmspersisted.Hehadafall.
Aphysicaltherapistrecommendedawalker,buthedidn’t
wanttouseit.Itfeltlikefailure.Thedoctorsputhimon
methylphenidate—Ritalin—to try to stimulate his