Oneofthebeautiesoftheoldsystemwasthatitmade
these decisions simple. You took the most aggressive
treatmentavailable.Itwasn’tadecisionatall,really,but
a defaultsetting.This businessofdeliberating onyour
options—offiguringoutyourprioritiesandworkingwith
a doctor to match your treatment to them—was
exhaustingandcomplicated,particularlywhenyoudidn’t
haveanexpertreadytohelpyouparsetheunknownsand
ambiguities. Thepressureremains all in onedirection,
towarddoingmore,becausetheonlymistakeclinicians
seemtofearisdoingtoolittle.Mosthavenoappreciation
that equally terriblemistakes are possible in theother
direction—that doing too much could be no less
devastating to a person’s life.
Myfatherwenthomestilluncertainwhattodo.Thenhe
hadaseriesoffiveorsixfalls.Thenumbnessinhislegs
wasgetting worse.Hebeganlosing thesenseofwhere
hisfeetwereunderneathhim.Onetime,goingdown,he
hithisheadhardandhadmymothercall911.TheEMTs
arrived,sirenwailing.Theyputhimonabackboardand
inahardcollarandracedhimtotheER.Eveninhisown
hospital,itwasthreehoursbeforehecouldgettheX-rays
confirmingthatnothingwasbrokenandthathecouldsit
upandtakethecollaroff.Bythen,thestiff collarand
rock-hardbackboardhadputhiminexcruciatingpain.He
requiredmultipleinjectionsofmorphinetocontrolitand
wasn’t releasedhome untilnearmidnight. He toldmy
motherheneverwantedtobeput throughthatkindof
experience again.
Twomorningslater,Igotacallfrommymother.Around
2:00a.m.,myfatherhadgottenoutofbedtogotothe