- Don’t call the police. Don’t call an ambulance
company.Callus.Anursewillhelp.Shewilldiscardthe
narcotics, arrange thedeath certificate,washhis body,
arrange with the funeral home.”
“Rightnow,we’renotthinkingofdeath,”mymothersaid
firmly. “Just paralysis.”
“Okay,” the nurse said.
Sheaskedmyfatherwhathisbiggestconcernswere.He
saidhewantedtostaystrongwhilehecould.Hewanted
tobeabletotype,becausee-mailandSkypewerehowhe
connectedwithfamilyandfriendsallovertheworld.He
didn’t want pain.
“I want to be happy,” he said.
She stayed almost two hours. She examined him,
inspectedthehouseforhazards,sortedoutwheretoplace
thebed,andfiguredoutascheduleforthenurseandthe
home health aide to visit. She also told my father he
neededtodojusttwomainthings.Shefiguredouthe’d
beentakinghispainmedicationshaphazardly,tinkering
withwhichdrughetookatwhatdose,andshetoldhim
he needed to take a consistent regimen and log his
response so the hospice team could gauge the effect
accuratelyandhelphimfindtheoptimalmixtominimize
painandgrogginess.Andshetoldhimthatheneededto
nolongerattempttogetuporaroundwithoutsomeone
helping him.
“I’m used to just getting up and walking,” he said.
“If you break your hip, Dr. Gawande, it will be a
disaster,” she said.