otherhercurrentstudents,allchildreninmiddleschool
and highschool. Gatheredtogetherin her livingroom,
theyplayedBrahms,Dvořák,Chopin,andBeethovenfor
their adored teacher.
Technologicalsocietyhasforgottenwhatscholarscallthe
“dying role” and its importance to people as life
approachesitsend.Peoplewanttosharememories,pass
onwisdomsandkeepsakes,settlerelationships,establish
their legacies, make peace with God, and ensure that
thosewhoareleftbehindwillbeokay.Theywanttoend
theirstoriesontheirownterms.This roleis,observers
argue,amonglife’smostimportant,forboth thedying
and those left behind. And if it is, the way we deny
peoplethisrole,outofobtusenessandneglect,iscause
for everlastingshame. Overand over, we in medicine
inflictdeepgougesattheendofpeople’slivesandthen
stand oblivious to the harm done.
Peggottofulfillherdyingrole.Shegottodosorightup
tothreedaysbeforetheend,whenshefellintodelirium
and passed in and out of consciousness.
Myfinalremembranceofherisfromneartheendofher
lastrecital.She’dtakenHunterawayfromthecrowdand
givenherabookofmusicshewantedhertokeep.Then
she put her arm around her shoulder.
“You’respecial,”shewhisperedtoher.Itwassomething
she never wanted Hunter to forget.
EVENTUALLY,THETIME camefor myfather’sstory to
end,aswell.ForallourpreparationsandallIthoughtI
hadlearned,weweren’treadyforit,though.Eversince
he’dgottenonhospiceintheearlyspring,he’darrivedat