Acknowledgments
Ihavea lotofpeopletothankforthisbook.Firstand
foremostaremymother,SushilaGawande,andmysister,
Meeta.In choosingto includethestory ofmyfather’s
declineanddeath,IknowIdredgedupmomentsthey’d
rathernotreliveornecessarilyhavetoldthewayIdid.
Nonetheless,theyhelpedmeateveryturn,answeringmy
difficultquestions,probingtheirmemories,andtracking
down everything from memorabilia to medical records.
Other relatives here and abroad provided essential
assistanceaswell.InIndia,myuncleYadaoraoRautin
particularsentmeoldletters andphotographs,gathered
memoriesaboutmyfatherandgrandfather fromfamily
members,andhelped mechecknumerous details.Nan,
Jim,Chuck,andAnnHobsonwereequallygenerouswith
their memories and records of Alice Hobson’s life.
IamalsoindebtedtothemanypeopleIgottoknowand
interview abouttheir experienceswith agingorserious
illness,or dealing with afamily member’s. Morethan
two hundred peoplegave metheir time, toldmetheir
stories,andletmeseeintotheirlives.Onlyafractionof
themareexplicitlymentionedinthesepages.Buttheyare
all here just the same.
Therewerealsoscoresoffrontlinestaffinhomesforthe
aged, palliative care experts, hospiceworkers, nursing
homereformers,pioneers,andcontrarians whoshowed
me places and ideas I’d never have encountered. I
especially want to thank two people: Robert Jenkens
opened doors and guided me through the large
communityofpeoplewhoarereinventingsupportforthe