56members will either leave or, perhaps worse, gradually become
what your tyrannical style is teaching them to be: responsive only
to direct orders ... not self-starters ... distrustful of management
... uncommitted to your vision ... unmotivated to operate beyond
performance minimums. This absolutely destroys any connection
or rapport with the person you are trying to reach.
Managers should talk with team members. One of the best
ways to do this is to start using the words “we,” “our” and “us.”
“We’ve got our work cut out for us in order to make the
deadline we committed to.”
“Well, we blew it on that order. Let’s figure out what we
learned and do our best not to repeat the error.”Exaggerate Situations or BehaviorYou are guaranteed to drag people down when you correct
behavior using words like “always,” “never,” “all the time” and
“everybody.” Generalizations attack the self-esteem of the
individual. If you tell someone, “You’re always late” or “You
never do this” or “Everyone feels this way,” you aren’t telling the
truth! No one is “always” anything. The moment you use
“absolute” words, your employee feels attacked. Instead of
generalizations, be specific — and remember that your role of
authority calls for insight ... not insensitivity! This is definitely a
turnoff.Talk About Attitudes Rather Than BehaviorWhen you criticize attitudes rather than behavior, you’re
setting up failure. Consider something like this in a performance
review: “You do this real well, and I appreciate what you’re doing
here, but the problem I see is your attitude.”
What in the world does that mean? How can a person
improve? This is way too subjective. When you say something
like that to an employee, you could be attacking self-esteem. A
person’s attitude is attached to who she is. You say, “Pat, you have
a bad attitude,” and in Pat’s brain it translates to, “Pat, you are aCoaching, Mentoring and Managing2
No one is
“always”
anything.T
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Team-Fly®