innate in applying the humanistic nursing theory
to a clinical setting. Dr. Paterson (1977, p. 13)
shared her experiences with a terminally ill can-
cer patient
“For a while I really beat on myself. I felt nothing,
just a kind of indifference and numbness, as
Dominic expressed his miseries, fears, and anger.
I pride myself on my empathic ability. I felt so in-
adequate. I could not believe I could not feel with
him what he was experiencing. Intellectually I
knew his words, his expressions were pain-filled.
My feelings of inadequacy, helplessness, and inabil-
ity to control myself, came through strong. [As] I
mulled reflectively about this, suddenly a light
dawned amidst my puzzlement. I was experiencing
what Dominic was expressing. At this time I was
feeling his inadequacy, helplessness, and inability
to control his cancer.”This insight brought a greater understanding
between Dr. Paterson and this patient, an under-
standing that brought them closer so that she
could endure with him in his fear-filled knowing
and unknowing of dying. As his condition deteri-
orated, she continued to visit at his bedside.
“Often after greeting me and saying what he
needed he would fall asleep. First, I thought, ‘It
doesn’t matter whether I come or not.’ Then I no-
ticed and validated that when I moved his eyes
flew open. I reevaluated his sleeping during my
visit. I discussed this with him. He felt safe when
I sat with him. He was exhausted, staying awake,
watching himself to be sure he did not die. When
I was there I watched him, and he could sleep. I
no longer made any move to leave before my time
with him was up. I told him of this intention so
that he could relax more deeply. To alleviate
aloneness; this is a most expensive gift. To give
this gift of time and presence in the patient’s
space, a person has to value the outcomes of
relating.”
This gift of presence is poetically described by
Dr. Zderad (1978, p. 48):
Death lifts his scythe
to swipe down the young man
misdressed in hospital gown
displaced in hospital bed.
The cruel cold blade slashes
the hard mask of his nurse134 SECTION II Evolution of Nursing Theory: Essential Influences
silently standing there
bleeding forth her presence.PATIENT’S REFLECTION ON NURSINGHere is an experience I was able to reflect upon
after I was exposed to the process of humanistic
nursing. Some time ago I attended a conference
on love, intimacy, and connectedness. It was an
interdisciplinary conference attended by 300 to
400 people. One of the opening speakers described
the experience that had been related to him by a
dear friend.
His friend had just been diagnosed with a seri-
ous form of cancer. The speaker described his
friend telling him, “In the early evening the fam-
ily was all around. We talked, but there was the
awkwardness of not knowing what to say or what
to expect. Later that night, I was in my room all
alone. No longer having to be concerned about
my family and what they were struggling with, I
began to experience some of my own feelings. I
felt so alone. Then the evening nurse who had
been working with me over the last two days of
testing came in. We looked at each other—neither
of us said a word and she just gently touched my
hand. I cried. She stayed there for...I don’t
know how long, until I placed my other hand on
top of hers and gently gave it a pat. She left and I
was able to go to sleep. This was one of the most
intimate moments in my life. This nurse offered
to be with me in the known, and unknown;
somehow she also conveyed a reassurance that I
did not have to go through what was coming,
whatever that was, alone.”
This ability to be with and endure with a pa-
tient in the process of living and dying is fre-
quently taken for granted by us, yet it is what
many times differentiates us from other profes-
sionals.This ability to be with and endure with a
patient in the process of living and dying is
frequently taken for granted by us, yet it is
what many times differentiates us from
other professionals.