give Him my time, my problems, and my joys, because I have
learned that His lordship is the only one that works. I have tried
giving myself to other gods—the gods of education and knowl-
edge, success and money, accomplishment and work. I have given
good works First Place in my affection. I have tried to get other
people to be God for me. I have even let the church assume top
priority in my time and energy. I have placed my neck in other
worldly nooses and yokes, but only the yoke of Christ grants me
freedom.^1At times my journey on the road of surrender may be three steps
forward, two steps back. But the farther I go, the more I realize that
there will be no real retreat for me. I must move forward with him
because ultimately there will be no other person, purpose, occupa-
tion, or material benefit that can compete with my need for God.
It’s almost as though the road behind me washes out the farther I
travel on it toward him. And the road ahead of me grows more solid
and easier to traverse the closer I get to him. And the better I know
him, the easier it becomes to surrender my life, my love, my all.
In my office are shelves lined with journals from all the years of
my Christian journey. All I have to do to refresh my memory of
God’s faithfulness is to pull out one of them at random. Catalogued
on their pages are prayers I’ve lifted up to the Lord over the years.
And there in black and white are the stories of answers to those
prayers: marriages saved, children healed, salvation brought into
homes that were once Godless; all stories that prove his mercy, his
love, and his Holy Spirit’s power. How grateful I am for the day I
called him “Lord.” What an awesome God he is!
172 CLAIRECLONINGER