possible for any of us to connect that word to my sister, who was so
full of life.
There were only five months from the day of Alix’s diagnosis until
the day of her death. During those months there was a trip to Hous-
ton for a second opinion and an appointment at the National Insti-
tute of Health in Washington, D.C., where Alix attempted to qualify
for an experimental cancer treatment. Neither trip brought any new
hope. And still she clung to life with every fiber of her being.
Alix spent as much time as she could with her children and
grandchildren. Sometimes I would try to encourage her to rest, but
it was as though her eyes were hungry for the sight of them. They
energized her.
She was on a totally unappetizing macrobiotic diet someone had
recommended. “Aren’t you sick of this stuff?” I remember asking her.
She looked at me intently. “Claire, you still don’t get it, do you?”
We stared at each other. “Get what?” I asked stupidly.
“How precious life is,” she said, amazed that I could be so obtuse.
The truth is that no one truly “gets it” until it is ebbing away and
we suddenly catch sight of its shimmering beauty. Most of us believe
on some level that our lives will go on forever—until the diagnosis
brings us face-to-face with our mortality.
That is why we need God’s perspective so desperately! That is why
our prayer must be “Lord, teach us to number our days aright that
we may gain your heart of wisdom. Teach us to treasure our lives
while we are living them.”
Father, forgive me when I rush through my days, not appreciating,
not seeing, not loving. Help me to walk with open eyes and an open
heart. Give me your heart of wisdom. Amen.54 CLAIRECLONINGER