Chapter 20 :
Comfort, Intimacy And The "Love Roadmap"
"The biggest risk is not taking any risk... In a world that's changing
really quickly, the only strategy that is
guaranteed to fail is not taking risks."- Mark Zuckerberg
Throughout a romance, the woman must feel safe and comfortable
with you, both verbally and physically. Many men get wrapped up in the
physical half. They ask themselves, "How do I make it so that she'll let
me touch her?" or "How can I get her to want to touch me?" but touching
and being touched isn’t the whole picture.
As you become intimate with a woman, the level of comfort slowly
escalates. And because it's a delicate, vulnerable new territory, trust and
respect are paramount.
Trust is gained by taking small steps that build on one another. To be
comfortable around someone you need to trust them in some way, and so
your goal is to continuously build trust. As trust builds, so does comfort.
The comfort building process starts at the beginning of the
interaction. She evaluates, "Can I trust this stranger and do I want to
continue talking to him?"
One sign that an interaction is going well is when she begins to take
the next step and push things forward to the next level. Take special note
when she does something verbal or physical that shows you your levels
of intimacy are escalating. Maybe she leans into you while talking,
presses her knee up against yours while you sit together, holds onto your
arm when you're standing together – any of these are signs that she's
more trusting and more comfortable with you than earlier in the
interaction. Be confident that things are going well.