There are a lot of theories about when and how often to text. For
example, texting at her pace or only texting two days after getting her
phone number. From personal experience, and through experiments with
students all over the world, I’ve found none of this to be true or
particularly valuable.
Just keep this in mind: people will go out of their way to hang out
with someone they’re interested in. Refine your in-person skills and the
texting will become less and less important. It will become a way to
communicate exactly when and where you’re going to meet up, rather
than the confusing purgatorial space between the meet up and the date,
where many guys imagine they are trapped.
Most guys over-text women they’ve just texted as a way to get a
momentary feeling of validation. “She’s paying attention to me,” is the
thought or feeling that they desire. Before you send a text, take a breath
and think about if it really needs to be sent. In my opinion, it most likely
doesn’t, unless it’s a logistical text, or a problem that needs a response to
be resolved.
If you’re doing something long distance, or there’s a very long space
of time between the initial meet-up and the date. Under these
circumstances, use texts to make plans to talk on the phone or over
Skype. This will give you more of an opportunity to connect with that
person while you’re separated.
Last thing on pacing, I recognize that some guys really like texting.
I’m not exactly sure what the appeal is, but some guys love it. If you’re
one of those guys just recognize – it’s not necessary, it’s flare. Make the
seduction the kind of seduction that excites you and the person you’re
trying to be with. Just be careful not to over-text, be aware that it’s easy
to misinterpret texts, and that at the end of the day it’s what you do in
person that will have the largest impact.