Chapter 29 :
Underlying Principles: A Conversation About How to
Never Use Another Line Again and Still Succeed
Stylelife: What was the #1 most impactful lesson you learned
while studying the art of attraction and seduction?
Nic: I have to pick two. Learning by principles and identity.The lesson of learning by principles is to look beyond the tactics and
techniques and find out the underlying principle that makes them work.
What is so valuable about that lesson, is that once you learn the principle,
you can develop an infinite number of techniques that are more
congruent with your personality and your style. By learning principles,
you’ll truly be learning seduction and start becoming a seductive person
instead of learning lines and becoming a social robot.
The other lesson is in regards to identity. I asked Byron what the
biggest challenge was that he would see in students trying to learn
seduction. His answer was something along these lines: The students that
have the toughest time are the ones that hold more tightly to the identity
they think they have. They are afraid to do things differently because
they think that they will lose who they are. They don’t understand that it
is not about being someone else but about accessing aspects of who they
already are at the right time. For example, we all have moments when
we are serious, moments when we are funny, moments when we are
sexual, etc. But not every state is appropriate all the time. Being flexible
in your identity is about knowing and being comfortable with all the
shades of your own personality so you can access them when you need
to.
The lesson here then, is that If you don’t get past the idea that
your identity is flexible instead of rigid and you don’t commit to