You don’t want to appear as though you’re doing market research or
some sort of survey, so always give a reason for saying whatever you
were going to say. You’ll see examples of these reasons in the openers in
this book and on the website.
How to practice starting a conversation
Now that you have the golden rules down it’s time to learn the
words, but before I get to the openers let me give you some tips for
practicing them:
- Memorize and rehearse: Make sure you know what you’re
saying, if you fumble with the words people will get confused. If they get
confused, they may reject you. It’s just that people get uncomfortable
when they’re confused, and they reject people they’re uncomfortable
with. If you learn the opener, have it down, word for word. If you can't
rehearse at home, do it in the car while you’re driving. You’ll be able to
repeat the portion they didn’t hear or were confused about. - Go out and practice. These things take time to practice. You’re
not going to get these down perfectly in a night, and it’s going to take
more than one approach to get them down. That means you need to put
practice time in, don’t email me if it doesn’t work on the first try. That
would be like taking one martial arts class, learning one punch, that you
practice once, and then blaming the teacher for teaching you something
that didn’t work. It’s a skill and it takes practice. - Add body language: Here's a little secret: Point your feet away
from the person or group you are beginning a conversation with. When
you say, “I can’t stick around long,” It’ll be more effective if your body
language is consistent with your words. When people who are really in a
hurry or aren’t planning on sticking around, they keep their bodies facing
the direction they’re going. Do the same; keep your feet pointed away.
Now, onto two of my favorite openers: