talking to you, an opener should contain certain elements to achieve this
goal. First and foremost, you have to answer the questions in their mind
before they even think them.
A fair warning: I don’t think that new students should be creating
their own material. It would be like going into a martial arts class and
just deciding to make up your own moves, but I know that many of you
are going to try so here are some guidelines:
- Why is he talking to me? Make sure your opener has a "root." In
other words, you must have a reason that you’re saying whatever you’re
saying. It could be that you need help to select a sweater, or to choose a
name, a dish in a restaurant. It could be that you are looking for an
opinion, an answer or advice and she looks like she can help. Either way
there has to be a reason for the approach. - When will he leave? Make sure that your openers have a time
constraint. That means letting the person know you can’t stay long.
Maybe you have to catch a plane, get back to your friends, go to a
meeting, etc. The main point is to let the person know that you are not
going to latch onto them for an extended period of time. - Make sure the topic is interesting; this can serve as a springboard
for discussions and should end with a question that can lead to more
conversation. - Is he hitting on me? Don’t start with a compliment, make it sexual
or convey that you are interested. First of all, you really don't know her -
so how can you already be interested in anything more than her looks?
Secondly, indicating your interest early on can make women
uncomfortable, and it’s bad seductive timing.