morning." She stares suspiciously so I call her out on it, "Do you think
I'm making that up?"
She responds, "Honestly, I really don't care."“Did you come over here and say ‘hi’ just so you could be mean
again?"
"No! I was just on my way to the bathroom.""Ok, well, good seeing you then," I gesture for her to continue on her
way. I say goodbye to Adam, who really did need to get up early to meet
Oprah, and then ask my buddy Ben to wing for me. I bring him over and
introduce him to Lacey. When Mary returns, she begins to barrage me
with a bunch more meaningless insults. I let a wounded expression cross
my face, as if she had finally cut me too deep.
"Wait," she said, looking concerned, "I didn't really mean that.""Stop being cruel to me then. Come here. Give me a hug.""I don't do hugs.""Ok, then give me an embrace."She extended her arms low, "I'll do this."I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her close. She began
patting me on the back – a slow, falsely sympathetic pat.
"Don't do that," I instructed.She stopped, and then whispered to me, as if it was a dangerous
secret, "I've interlocked my fingers."