Once she feels heard, a man offers his help. He must be
careful not to expect his support to take away her discouraged
feelings. She is not going to say, “Oh, thank you so much for
offering to help; now I feel so much better.” She can say that
only when her wave is on the way up.
When the wave crashes, a man has to know that a woman’s
ability to appreciate him is at an all-time low. When the wave
comes back up, she will then feel a lot of appreciation. Anyone
can be loving when a person is in a good mood. The real test
of love is to be there for her when she hits bottom. When a
woman is down and a man is there for her then he is always
remembered and appreciated. These are the times when a
woman actually grows in her ability to trust her partner’s love
and support.
- She Feels Insecure
She may suddenly begin to ask a lot of questions about the
relationship or about how he feels. She may ask questions
about how much he loves her or how he feels about her body.
These questions are not to be taken literally. Don’t try to solve
her problem through reason. She is just looking for reassur-
ances.
If she says, “Do you think I look fat?”...DON’T SAY DO SAY
“I think you are beautiful and
I love you just the way you
are.” And then give her a hug.“Well, you certainly don’t
have the body of model, but
those women starve them-
selves.”96 / JOHN GRAY, PH.D.