If she says, “How can you love me? My life is so
disorganized. I am falling apart.”...DON’T SAY DO SAY
“Well, I love you and I am
here to hold you together. You
do so much. Let me give you
a hug. I sure love you.”“Well, sometimes it is hard. I
really wish you would not
make such a big deal out of
things.”
“Well, you can fall right here
in my arms anytime. I love
you. You can call on me
whenever you need me.”“Your life is not falling apart.
You just need to be less emo-
tional.”“I love you because you are so
giving. You give so much of
yourself. What can I do to
help?”“You take on too much. If you
would relax more, then things
would not be so bleak.”“I love you because you are
special to me. I don’t care if
you’re falling apart. I’m here
for you.”“If you wouldn’t get so upset
about things, it would be a lot
easier to love you.”“I love that you need me. I
love being here for you. I have
some time, let me do this for
you...”“If you would prioritize your
time better, then your life
would not be falling apart. If
you...”- She Feels Resentful
Quite often, as her wave rises, a woman will happily give
of herself without realizing that she is also expecting more in
98 / JOHN GRAY, PH.D.