At celebrations on Mars, a military man dresses up by put-
ting on his uniform, which indicates to all who he is, what he
can do, and what he promises to do. He then puts on all his
medals and awards to let others know his achievements, what
he has done. This is not an egocentric man, but a person who
is very proud of who he is and what he has accomplished; this
is a man whose life is dedicated to saving the lives of others
at the risk of losing his own. His dress reflects that expression
of who he is.
A businessman does the same. On special occasions he
demonstrates that he is competent by driving a fine car or
wearing an expensive suit with well-polished shoes. What
does this say? It says he is successful; other people have exper-
ienced his competence and have rewarded him well. If they
have trusted him, then you can too. This man can take care not
only of himself but of others. Men of all occupations on Mars
find ways to identify their expertise and advertise themselves.
Certainly not all men do this the same way, but they all do
market themselves. Different men have a variety of ways and
uniforms to display their expertise, values, and success, but in
the end, whether he is wearing a black tux and shiny shoes or
blue jeans and white running shoes, he is in some way advert-
ising that he is a “can do” guy, someone you can trust and
depend on.
Once a man feels he has something to offer, some service to
provide, then he uses every opportunity to market himself or
what he has to offer. This tendency is definitely present when
he dates a woman. His main objective is to let her know that
he is the one for her. He is the one who could make her happy.
He has what she is looking for. And so he talks to let her know.
In short, he uses communication as a medium to advertise his
services. Talking about himself is
216 / JOHN GRAY, PH.D.