If you are upset, then definitely don’t call a man. Talk to a
girlfriend if you need to share your feelings. After airing your
feelings, you will probably feel much better, particularly if you
remember that men are from Mars and they have different in-
stincts. Remember, the reason a man doesn’t call is that his
instincts are different.
- Don’t Ask Questions
Just as women complain when men do not call back, men
complain about women who want to talk about the relation-
ship.
Unless a man is entering the commitment stage of dating,
he generally doesn’t like to talk about the relationship or define
it. Men just want to live in the moment and see where things
go. They want to let it develop, like planting a seed. It doesn’t
work to keep digging it up each day to see if it is sprouting.
Just as women complain when men do not
call back, men complain about women who
want to talk about the relationship.There is a way for a woman to get the reassurance she may
be needing. Instead of calling to ask for it, try calling to give
him what he may be needing. Just as a woman greatly appre-
ciates a man’s call to reassure her that he is interested and had
a good time, a man greatly appreciates being encouraged by
messages that he was successful in making her happy.
Don’t call to ask questions, but instead call to share a few
good feelings. If he does not feel pressured to make any reas-
suring statement, then his natural appreciation for her good
feelings will be reassuring enough. These are some examples
of questions that you do not want to ask.
258 / JOHN GRAY, PH.D.