He feels, “She liked the movie. She is fun to do things with.
I like her.” Talking about what happened goes directly to his
heart.
Don’t say, “I really liked spending time with you.” The im-
plied message is the question, “Did you like spending time
with me? Do you want to spend more time with me?” He may
now feel some obligation to spend time together so that you
will not feel rejected. Instead of focusing on his success, he is
now thinking about how he may fail you.
Men are attracted to success. When a man feels
he is a success in fulfilling a woman,
he is more attracted to her.Talking about the movie frees him to connect with you
without feeling any pressure to spend more time together.
When you say you liked the movie, he can join in. When you
say you liked him, then the only way for him to connect is to
be arrogant and agree that many women like him or to connect
by saying he likes you too. To come out and say he likes you
may be too much at this early stage of the relationship. The
less pressure he feels to spend time together frees him to desire
to spend more time together.
- Let Him Know the Positive Responses You Had and Leave
Out the Negative
In stage one of a relationship, let him just see the supportive
and positive side of your personality. When you talk about the
date, let him know primarily your positive responses and leave
out the negative. Otherwise, he might mistakenly begin to
think that you are a difficult woman to please. What allows a
man to grow in attraction and form an
262 / JOHN GRAY, PH.D.