assist a woman in relaxing and letting a man take care of her
needs. They reinforce this most important pattern: the man
doing things to fulfill the woman’s needs and the woman
graciously receiving. The result is that a man becomes more
confident, purposeful, and responsible, while a woman be-
comes more self-assured, receptive, and responsive. Dating
rituals assist us in bringing out the best in our partners on a
date, which in turn brings out the best in ourselves as well.
Without understanding this wisdom, some men and women
feel uncomfortable with dating rituals. They feel that they are
demeaning to women and imply that women are helpless.
They are concerned that by encouraging these rituals they are
reinforcing the incorrect notion that women are helpless.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
WHY MEN GIVE
When a man opens the door for a woman, it does not mean
that she is so weak that she can’t do it. Instead, it means that
she is special and he wants to make her evening as comfortable
as possible. When a special guest visits your home, you gra-
ciously open the door and roll out the red carpet. This does
not imply in any way that the guest is helpless and incompet-
ent.
When a man pays for a woman’s meal, it does not mean that
he makes more than she makes, or that she can’t afford to pay
for it. Instead, it means that it is his pleasure to provide for
her. She gives to so many people all day long, so he wants to
give to her that evening. It is his pleasure to give.
If they are in an exclusive relationship, it does not mean that
he pays all the time. But when he takes her on a special date,
he pays. It is nice for her to offer to pay sometimes but wise
for him not to accept the offer most of the time.
WHY SOME WOMEN REMAIN SINGLE / 311