When a woman is needy, she is not just feeling her need;
instead, she feels that she needs more than a man is offering.
As a result, she gets upset with him or she reacts in a manner
that indicates she will be upset with him. When she signals
that she needs more instead of appreciating his contribution,
he gets the message that it is not enough. It is not her needing
more that turns him off. It is her lack of appreciation for what
he is offering that makes her “needy.”
Needing more is not a turnoff,
but not appreciating is.To need a man does not mean to need more from him. By
focusing on appreciating what a man offers, a woman can
avoid being needy. By cultivating the attitudes of self-assur-
ance, receptiveness, and responsiveness, a woman can need
more and yet appreciate what a man has to offer.
A woman does not have to be helpless to ask a man for help,
nor does she have to be hopeless to need his support. She can
need more and graciously receive whatever he gives. It is al-
ways flattering to a man when he feels needed.
From a man’s perspective, a woman is most attractive when
she is aware of her needs and she feels self-assured that her
needs will be fulfilled. Just as a man is most attractive when
he is confident that he will achieve his goal, a woman is most
attractive when she is assured that she will get the support she
needs.
With this attitude of self-assurance, a woman does not have
to deny her need for a man just because he has not yet appeared
in her life. Her self-assurance that she can and will get what
she needs makes her most attractive and prevents her from
feeling needy or desperate. When a woman cultivates the three
attributes of femininity—self-assurance, recep-
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