tiveness, and responsiveness—she gains the ability to need a
man without becoming needy.
GIVING MEN THE RIGHT MESSAGE
By being self-assured instead of demanding more from a man,
a woman gives the message that she trusts that she will even-
tually get her needs met. This openness makes a man much
more interested. When a woman is receptive to what he is of-
fering, a man gets the message that he may be accepted and
not rejected. By being responsive to his attempts to please her,
a woman allows a man to feel appreciated. He gets the message
that he could be even more successful. These three attributes
ensure that she is not giving the wrong message about her
needs.
When a woman expresses the best of her feminine side by
being self-assured, receptive, and responsive, it brings out the
best of a man’s masculine side. The more a man senses that a
woman needs what he has to offer, the more interested he be-
comes. Quite automatically he feels more confident, purposeful,
and responsible.
He is confident because her self-assurance sends a message
that there is a job opening. He is purposeful because her recept-
ive smile sends the message that he could get the job to make
her happy. She has a need and he has the solution. Her respons-
iveness encourages him to feel he could be successful in ful-
filling her needs. This encouragement makes him feel more
responsible to fulfill her needs.
HOW WOMEN SABOTAGE THE DATING PROCESS
When a woman denies feeling her needs for a man, she sabot-
ages the dating process. Her sincere attempts to find a last-
318 / JOHN GRAY, PH.D.