THE FIRST ELEMENT OF CHEMISTRY: DIFFERENT
INTERESTS
By studying the lives of soul mates, you can begin to see that
there are certain elements that are almost always present. When
the chemistry of healthy attraction is experienced, certain
predictable conditions are being met. The first and most im-
portant element is different interests.
Happily married soul mates always have different interests.
Certainly they have many shared interests, but quite often they
have many more different interests. Generally, it is only after
a few years of living together that they discover their many
different interests. They don’t realize it in the beginning.
Soul mates have many shared interests,
but quite often they have many more
different interests.When couples fall in love, they don’t go around saying, “I
met the most incredible person. She is so different from me.”
Instead they tend to say the opposite. They say, “Oh, I met this
incredible person; we have so many things in common.” They
say this because they haven’t yet discovered how different
their interests are. Without this understanding, single people
can easily miss opportunities to meet their soul mate.
The insight that different interests create chemistry explains
why it is sometimes so hard to find a soul mate. Our soul mate
will have different interests and will work and spend time in
places we rarely visit. The only way we can meet someone
with different interests is by accident. By recognizing this truth
and actively seeking out situations where people have different
interests, we dramatically increase our chances of experiencing
more chemistry and meeting the right person. Let’s explore a
few examples.
322 / JOHN GRAY, PH.D.