may get their support in finding someone. Many of their friends
will be your age.
We cannot fully recognize a soul mate until we are ready.
We need to know ourselves first before we can recognize the
right person for us. Each time we gain experience of the higher
stages of dating, our maturity and discernment increase.
After ending a long-term relationship, or a marriage, one of
the best ways to find a soul mate is to revisit previous partners
with whom you have felt chemistry. After taking several
months to grieve the loss of a relationship, when you are feeling
more complete and autonomous, then take some time to get
reacquainted with all past partners who are available.
Just call to get reacquainted and see if sparks begin to fly.
Many people grow and mature in a relationship so that when
they move on, they find they are ready for a relationship that
didn’t work in the past. Let’s look at an example.
Getting ReacquaintedTricia, a bookkeeper, said, “I had finally completed a two-
year relationship and was looking forward to spending a quiet
weekend in prayer, meditation, and catching up on my reading.
I felt I had had enough of men for a while and I said, This
weekend is for my relationship with God.”
Then, out of the blue, Tommy, an old boyfriend, called. They
hadn’t talked in four years. They had dated for more than a
year, but after a while they just went their separate ways. Tricia
had always felt a special chemistry with Tommy and was very
sad when he got involved with someone else.
During his call he said he had been married and divorced
in a two-year period and that for the last year he had been
single
332 / JOHN GRAY, PH.D.