relationships, we can have confidence that our future relation-
ships will be better.
Pauline worked as a manager for the phone company. She
said, “I met my husband, Craig, at a dinner party. My friends
introduced us, but I wasn’t the least bit interested in getting
involved again. I had been married twice before. But there was
something different about Craig. I wasn’t physically attracted
to him at all, but he was the most interesting man I had ever
met.
“Craig is seven years older than me, but that adds to my at-
traction to him. I have always been mature for my age. He re-
sponds to things in such a thoughtful and considerate manner.
I admire his wisdom about the world.
“I realized that I just needed someone who had more matur-
ity to stimulate me. In previous relationships, I had always
followed my sexual attractions, but this time, even though
there was no sexual chemistry, I felt that he was very interest-
ing. He pursued me. After a while, it finally happened. I was
really surprised to experience that I felt a passionate physical
attraction for him as well. It took a while to build, but for years
now it just keeps on burning.”
THE FOURTH ELEMENT OF CHEMISTRY: RESONANCE
The fourth element of chemistry is resonance. Soul mates have
similar values that resonate. This element of chemistry inspires
us to be the best we can be. When we are with our partner,
what is most important to him or her resonates with what is
really important to us.
Your partner’s values concerning God, family, work, recre-
ation, politics, money, character, sex, and marriage resonate
within you and inspire you. You are able to see the good in
your soul mate and respect and admire his or her values. To
336 / JOHN GRAY, PH.D.