issues differently, but they perfectly complement each other.
He likes to watch the news and she likes to give it. When
she needs to talk, he has learned to be a great listener.
Sometimes he then talks about his day too.- Lucy is really sensitive about certain things and Roger isn’t.
She gets upset when there is a change of plans and he just
goes with the flow. Roger is still able to respect this differ-
ence because they share similar values. They both make their
love more important than their differences.
As he takes the time to listen to what bothers her, he is re-
spectful even though he doesn’t feel as strongly bothered as
she does. He can be supportive even though he doesn’t ne-
cessarily agree with her point of view. They agree to disagree
sometimes. - Claudia is really involved with parenting and Clarence isn’t.
Clarence is a hard worker who wants to provide the very
best for his family. They could experience a lot of conflict,
but they don’t. They are aware that they share the same good
intent—for their children to have the best they can provide.
They just show that intent differently. - Keith wants sex more than Theresa. They both value intim-
acy. He likes physical intimacy more, while she likes sharing
her life and feelings. This understanding that they really
share the same intent—to get close—makes it easy to make
compromises at times without feeling they have to give up
what is important to them. Theresa is also able to recognize
that his desire for sex does not mean he doesn’t care about
her. It is his way of
362 / JOHN GRAY, PH.D.