the garden, while he sometimes wishes she would enjoy
traveling more. Yet the most important thing is that they
love each other very much.
Over the years, Jackson has grown to appreciate and enjoy
the garden much more, while Martha enjoys traveling more.
Through respecting their differences and making some sac-
rifices, they eventually grew closer. What was an annoyance
in the beginning is now a source of greater fulfillment.With this understanding, we can clearly see our different
interests as a source of stimulation and growth, not as an
obstacle. Because of the differences, there will always be room
to grow together. When we feel chemistry, it is a sign that this
growth is possible.
LOOKING IN THE RIGHT PLACE BUT FINDING THE
WRONG PERSON TO LOVE
By looking in the right places you will eventually find the right
person, but sometimes you may find the wrong partner even
in the right places. You may feel strong chemistry, but it is
with a person who turns out to be way off the mark. This is all
part of the learning process. By clearly learning from our mis-
takes, we will gain the ability to distinguish between healthy
and unhealthy chemistry.
By learning to recognize unhealthy chemistry and not act
on it, you increase your ability to feel healthy chemistry. If you
keep getting intimately involved in relationships based on
unhealthy chemistry, your ability to feel healthy chemistry
with the right person is minimized. To live happily ever after
and find your soul mate, it is very important to distinguish
between these two kinds of chemistry.
364 / JOHN GRAY, PH.D.