Then, when we experience the challenges that come up in
any relationship, we are much more capable of being accepting
and understanding. Too much intimacy, too quickly, can cause
women to become needy and men to pull away. Just as men
have a tendency to rush into physical intimacy, women make
the mistake of rushing into complete emotional intimacy.
WHEN A WOMAN GIVES ON A DATE
A woman commonly assumes that by giving a man the support
she would want, he will become more interested in her. To put
her best foot forward, a woman makes the mistake of treating
a man the way she would want to be treated. She eagerly re-
sponds to his attentiveness by being overly interested in him.
She responds to his consideration by being overly considerate
of him; when he is of assistance to her she immediately wants
to return the favor instead of just smiling and saying thank
you.
A woman doesn’t instinctively understand that after being
receptive to a man’s advances and appreciating his efforts, she
doesn’t owe him anything. She has already given him what
he most wants. She has given him the opportunity to know
her, please her, and connect with her. A woman needs to re-
member that she is the special one. It is the man’s pleasure to
have the opportunity to be with her. When she does not hold
this attitude, it makes it difficult for a man’s attraction to grow.
After being receptive to a man’s advances
and appreciating his efforts, a woman
doesn’t owe a man anything.When a man is attracted to a woman, he gets excited because
he anticipates that he can make her happy and that
40 / JOHN GRAY, PH.D.