they don’t necessarily know what is required, particularly
when it comes to romantic relationships.
This is why it is crucial for a man to understand women.
Otherwise he just doesn’t know what is required to make a
relationship work. When he assumes he is doing enough and
the woman is not happy, he quickly gives up and loses his at-
traction because he thinks either that something is wrong with
her or that she is the wrong partner for him. It may just be that
he has the wrong approach.
KEEPING THE EDGE
Without an understanding of the basic strategy of stage three,
a man will mistakenly assume that he has done all that is re-
quired of him to win his partner over. Now he thinks he can
relax and live off the interest from his original investment. By
relaxing in this manner, he loses his momentum and the rela-
tionship ceases to bring out the best in him and his partner.
He becomes increasingly passive in the relationship and loses
his edge.
This can happen in any area of a man’s life. It clearly happens
all the time in the world of work. After becoming successful,
big companies lose their competitive edge. They become too
comfortable and stop researching innovative ways to stay
ahead of the competition. They become too soft and compla-
cent. They lose the power and good fortune that come from
hard work, effort, sacrifice, planning, researching, and taking
reasonable risks. To keep the edge, to maintain their sharpness
of focus, they need to sustain those behaviors that made them
number one.
By putting forth his best effort, a man eventually experiences
his edge. He reaches the limit of his potential. The result of
reaching to express all that he can be is greater cre-
68 / JOHN GRAY, PH.D.