Chapter 3
Counselling the Beloveds
After receiving results of medical tests requested, discuss the issues arising from the results
with the couple. Confirm general progress towards their engagement and determine a tentative
date for the wedding.
While in a relationship the couple is expected to be holy. It is important to exhort them
strongly to desist from fornication. The counsellor should not be judgemental. The couple should
be encouraged to be active in the church, and to stay on the safe road of holiness.^1
Don’ts in a Relationship between Beloveds
- Avoid hugging, holding and kissing.^2
- Don’t sit on his lap.
- Don’t stay indoors alone with your beloved for long periods.
- Don’t be alone in isolated places at odd hours.
- Don’t put your hands under the skirt or through the flap.
- Don’t sleep/lie on the same bed with your beloved.
- Don’t undress in the presence of your beloved.
- Don’t fondle the breasts, vagina and penis.
- Don’t have sex with your beloved (that is fornication)!^3
NB:Pre-marital counselling covers a period of six months. Beloveds must be informed
to start their counselling early enough to cover all aspects of the counselling before the
wedding.
Counsellors should not yield to pressure to perform weddings at short notice. This may
be deceptive.