Model Marriage
Q. He gets angry when he sees me chatting with someone.
A. This means that the husband feels insecure and jealous. The principles of love must be brought to bear on
the situation. “Love does not seek her own”. If these insecurities are also based on something in the past then
forgiveness must be applied and the record wiped out: “Love does not keep a record of wrongs suffered.”
(Refer to Chapter 8 pg. 28-31, “Love in Marriage––Agape”).
Q. When he is going out he does not say where he is going.
A. It appears that not much effective communication is going on here. Furthermore, the husband is not showing
enough respect for his wife. Sometimes these things happen because he knows his wife will not like where he is
going, and he does not want to tell lies about it, so he just leaves.
The solution might be that there must be more transparency in that marriage. Both parties must encourage
conversation. The wife must not appear to be an “investigative journalist” asking only probing questions. That
attitude does not encourage conversation.
(Refer to Chapter 6 pg. 19-21, “The God-Type of Marriage”).Looks
Q. He has a pot belly.
A. It is true that in marriage, what is most important is the character of the person one is marrying. However,
the packaging is also important, because most of the time it is the packaging that makes the product either attractive
or unattractive. It is only after that, that its sweetness or otherwise would be known.
In the same way, the manner in which people carry themselves around, to a large extent determines whether their
partners will continue to find them attractive. Unfortunately, many people just lose control of their bodies when they
marry.
However, it must also be borne in mind that growing up usually comes with some weight gain as well.
The most important issue is how one goes about telling the spouse about how fat or lean he/she is. Speak to edify
and not to break down another’s confidence. Accept your spouse’s looks, and concentrate on the inner qualities
rather than the packaging. Partner together on how to help with the weight gain problem.
(Refer to Chapter 9 pg. 32-36, “Communication in Marriage”; Chapter 10 pg. 37-39, “Faithfulness and
Unfaithfulness in Marriage”).
Q. He squeezes his face.
A. Probably there is something he is not happy about. Arrange to discuss it or seek counsel from your pastors
on the issue if it is a thorny one. It is not easy to live happily with a husband who always presents a squeezed face.
The husband is to live joyfully with his wife all the days of his life. Let the issues die and be cheerful.
Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath
given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that is thy portion in this life, and in thy
labour which thou takest under the sun.
Ecclesiastes 9:9
(Refer to Chapter 11 pg. 45, “Duties of the Husband––Make Her Feel Happy At Home”).
Q. I want her to put on some weight.
A. Putting on weight, or losing weight, are things we cannot allow to be the foundation for happiness in the
marriage. Some put on weight easily, others do not; some lose weight easily while others may struggle their whole
lifetime to lose even a kilo. The key to happiness and lasting friendship is the key of acceptance. Accept each other
and walk in love. Your expectation may or may not come to pass, but pray for the grace to accept what you cannot
change.
(Refer to Chapter 25 pg. 109, “The Key of Acceptance––Accept the Physical Structure or Looks of Your Spouse”).