Typical Questions of Married Couples and the AnswersRomance and Sex
Q. My wife does not like kissing.
A. Kissing is encouraged to promote intimacy between a couple. Kissing is a form of communicating and
expressing affection. The wife must gradually tune her mind to accept and flow with this form of communication as
well.
If your wife doesn’t like to be kissed do not force it on her. It might be due to any of the following reasons:
(a) She may just not be comfortable with it because of her background. After all, it is not everything that you
also like.
(b) It might also be because of the husband’s bad oral hygiene. Try and make sure that anytime you want to
kiss her your breath is very fresh and inviting enough. Few people can resist something, fresh, minty and possibly,
tasty.
(Refer to Chapter 9 pg. 36, “Communication in Marriage––Other Ways of Communicating”; Chapter 38 pg.
171,“Assorted Biblical Principles 1-12––Principle of the Importance of Kissing”).
Q. My wife does not like sex much.
A. It must be understood that generally speaking, women do not like sex as much as men do.
The greatest sex organ all of us have is our minds and therefore there must be a proper conditioning of the mind
for it.
In fact for women, sex is more than just an act. 1 Peter 3:7 encourages husbands to dwell with their wives
according to knowledge. This means that for any marriage to be smooth and peaceful, husbands must know more
about their wives and the frustrations will be less.
Wives must also understand that when a man is starved of sex, his potential for adultery is enhanced, so they must
perform their God-given duty; something which only they can do for their husbands.
(Refer to Chapter 10 pg. 38, “Faithfulness and Unfaithfulness in Marriage––Conditions that are Likely to
Aggravate a Potential for Unfaithfulness”; Chapter 25 pg. 106, The Key of Acceptance––“Accept the “Masculinity”
or “Femininity” of Your Spouse”).
Q. My husband does not seem to understand that my libido is not always high i.e. I don’t like sex all the
time.
A. Sex in marriage is not just about the libido of one partner. Some of the basic reasons for sex in marriage
can help the thinking here.
First, God designed sex in marriage for procreation and whether your libido is high or not is not relevant: there
will be no children without sex. It is interesting to note that some couples who have no issue, often allow quarrels
and misunderstandings to prevent them from coming together at the time when the wife is most fertile. This
unfortunately accounts for some of the childlessness we witness around us.
Second, it is each spouse’s divine duty to satisfy the other sexually and therefore irrespective of either a high or
a low libido––the duty must be performed whether we feel like it or not.
Lastly, God created sexual intercourse in marriage for the pleasure and enjoyment of both husband and wife. In
this case, a wife may not derive any pleasure if her mind is not tuned to flow with the whole idea.
All three reasons for sex may need to be applied whether your libido is high or low at a particular time. You must
fulfil the purpose for marriage.
(Refer to Chapter 28 pg. 132-133, “Introduction to Sexual Happiness––8 Reasons for Sex”; Chapter 31 pg. 140-
141,“Pleasurable Sex”; Chapter 32 pg. 142-143, “Dutiful Sex”; Chapter 36 pg. 159-160 “Sex for Reproduction”).