Typical Questions of Married Couples and the AnswersQ. He says very little, if anything at all. I feel like divorcing him.
A. Learn to accept that men are usually like that. Try solving the problem by leading him on to talk. Be content
if he listens to you talk. He can never talk as much as you do. Don’t let this drive you to divorce. Find ways and
means of making yourself happy in the marriage. As he sees that you are happy without him, he is likely to open up
more into your world.
Divorce has only one basis in Scripture which is adultery. There is no reason such as lack of communication.
Work hard at communication, it will work. Don’t leave prayer out and don’t nag. Do not use divorce as a threat to
resolve any issue: “Neither give place to the devil”.
(Refer to Chapter 25 pg. 106, “The Key of Acceptance––Accept the ‘Masculinity’ or ‘Femininity’ of Your
Spouse”; Chapter 24 pg. 98-102, “What Every Christian Should know about Divorce”).
Q. He thinks I complain too much and behave rudely when people come to the house.
A. If that is true then you must change your attitude. Maintain a sweet spirit. That is the only way you can make
yourself attractive to your husband and not by throwing tantrums and being rude. Walk in love. Love does not behave
itself unseemly.
(Refer to Chapter 8 pg. 28-30, “Love in Marriage––Agape”).
Q. She is always, second-guessing me.
A. This is a sign of lack of trust in the marriage. Make every effort to be transparent and communicate clearly
and unambiguously about issues and make sure that you have been understood. It is a sign that there is no love in
the relationship if there is suspicion all the time. Love believes all things.
(Refer to Chapter 6 pg. 20, “The God-Type of Marriage––Openness”, Chapter 8 pg. 28-30, “Love in Marriage
––Agape”).
Q. She wants me to talk to only people she likes.
A. This sounds like a case of control and manipulation. It can never be possible that a husband will only talk
to people that his wife likes. The cardinal principle in having a marriage that is godly and also for fostering
faithfulness in marriage is to leave all friends especially those of the opposite sex and to cleave to your spouse.
Furthermore, it is counselled that couples must have mutual friends.
This is certainly not an injunction on anyone to only speak to people the other approves of. Where this situation
exists, there is a clear lack of trust. Examine what has engendered this unhealthy posture and deal with it.
(Refer to Chapter 6 pg. 20, “The God Type of Marriage––Openness”).
Q. She /He doesn’t like to talk about problems we are having, but prefers keeping quiet over issues.
A. If you can keep quiet over the issues and let it go, then that is fine. But it is widely accepted that people are
better able to deal with problems once they are able to talk about them.
When you keep quiet you may be feeding your mind on some misunderstanding whereas if you spoke about it,
some light could be shed on the problem for a solution to arrive more easily. Make every effort to speak so that there
can be some relief.
(Refer to Chapter 9 pg. 32-33, “Communication in Marriage––Speak”).
Q. She tends to talk down to me if I don’t agree with something.
A. The principles in God’s Word that govern the marriage covenant cannot be flouted with impunity and
overlooked. Husbands and wives are to observe certain rules of conduct stated in the Bible. As a wife you must
“...be in subjection to your own husband ...”
Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they
also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;
1 Peter 3:1