Model Marriage
Q. He loves his friends and family more than me.
A. This is a rather serious conclusion to arrive at. However, it is possible that he has shown some signs that
give his wife the impression that he cares more about his family (extended) and friends more than her. The husband
needs to be reminded of the injunction in Genesis 2:24 which requires him to leave all else and cleave to his wife to
create a oneness.
The solution to this matter is for the husband to obey Scripture. The wife must also create an atmosphere, which
makes it almost compelling for the husband to want to be with her more than with his friends and family. One of the
most result-yielding attitudes suggested to the wife is for her to maintain a meek and quiet, and sweet spirit. Such an
attitude only attracts.
Furthermore, make your husband know that you are a virtuous woman with wisdom.
(Refer to Chapter 6 pg. 19-20, “Leaving and Cleaving”; Chapter 12 pg. 50-51, “Duties of the Wife––Be a
Virtuous Woman”).
Q. He does not rebuke his family members who offend me.
A. It is the duty of every husband to protect and care for his wife. One of the areas that he must protect his wife
from is wrong attitudes from his own relatives and friends.
A husband must know that not all of his people will appreciate his choice of a wife. His duty is therefore to ensure
that he protects her from those who may not particularly like her. This protection can be done by showing strong
disapproval for improper ways in which anyone treats his wife. This sends a message that he will not allow his wife
to be mistreated. Any husband who leaves his wife to be harassed by his relatives and friends is failing in his duty
to protect his “weaker vessel” wife.
(Refer to Chapter 11 pg. 46, “Duties of the Husband––Protect and Care for Her (a)”; Chapter 22 pg. 93-95,
“In-laws”).
Q. His son does not respect me.
A. When dealing with a step-child, it is the responsibility of the husband/father to bring the child to order, so
as to strengthen the hand of his wife to instil discipline in the children.
(Refer to Chapter 23 pg. 96-97, “The Step Home”).
Q. She does not relate well with my relatives. She feels my relatives are bad.
A. It is the responsibility of each party to ensure that he/she nurtures a good relationship with his/her in-laws.
This relationship, sometimes, tends to be very problematic; either because the spouse in question is difficult and
condescending, or that the family does not like their child’s choice of spouse. As far as it lies in your power, try to
live at peace with all men, especially with your in-laws. In the long run, this will help the marriage to blossom.
(Refer to Chapter 22 pg. 93-95, “In-laws”).The End