Model Marriage by Bishop Dag Heward Mills

Love in Marriage

Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave

himself for it;

Ephesians 5:25

(a) “Agape” is normally described as the God-kind of love, which says, “I love you
in spite of this issue.” It is a willingness to accept the other person for who he/she
is without expecting a change into “the ideal spouse” in shape, form, size, or
intellect. This means that even if your spouse never reduces/increases in size or
becomes better at any other area, you are still prepared to walk in love.^3

(b) It is unconditional. It does not love on condition that the other partner is well-
behaved. That is, the husband does not say that, “I will love her if she submits to
me.” Nor should the wife say that, “I will love and submit to him if only he can
be a bit more loving according to the Bible.”^4

(c) One must decide to love only one’s spouse and no other person.

(d) “Agape” love is sacrificial and therefore will go the extra mile to give time,
attention, gifts etc.

(e) This type of love has to be a conscious decision. You walk in love because the
Word of God commands you to love your spouse.

Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave

himself for it;

Ephesians 5:25

Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.

Colosians 3:19

The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness ...That

they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their

children,

Titus 2:3-4

(f) This type of love covers a multitude of sins and does not refer to a person’s past
sins and mistakes.

Hatred stirreth up strifes: but love covereth all sins.

Proverbs 10:12

He that covereth a transgression seeketh love; but he that repeateth a matter

separateth very friends.

Proverbs 17:9