Model Marriage by Bishop Dag Heward Mills

(Darren Dugan) #1
What it Means to Have a Phlegmatic Husband or Wife


  1. He will not volunteer for leadership on his own but when it is forced on him he proves to
    be a very capable leader.

  2. He acts as a natural peacemaker.^1


Weaknesses of a Phlegmatic Husband



  1. He lacks drive and ambition.

  2. He rarely exceeds the status quo and he always seems to do the expected.

  3. He rarely initiates an activity and usually gives excuses in order to avoid getting
    involved with the activities of others.

  4. He is selfish although this is usually not so obvious and he is so gracious and proper
    that few people are aware of it. Selfishness makes him self-indulgent and unconcerned
    about his family’s need for activity.

  5. He is miserly except for clothes for himself or tools for his work.

  6. No-one can be more stubborn than a phlegmatic but he is so diplomatic about it that
    people do not realize it.

  7. He never openly confronts another person or refuses to do something but will
    somehow manage not to do it.

  8. In family situations, he often doesn’t yell or argue; he just drags his feet or refuses to
    move.

  9. He can be exasperating to a more aggressive partner by his passive, laid-back style.
    Sanguines and cholerics particularly struggle with phlegmatic spouses because they
    are used to making quick and headstrong decisions.

  10. A phlegmatic person could be mistaken for a Christian even as an unbeliever.

  11. He is polite and diplomatic about the expression of the old sinful nature.

  12. One of his chief weaknesses is that he has very little motivation.

  13. He is very fearful under the surface and this fear can cause many problems.

  14. Phlegmatics are prone to procrastination.

  15. Tend to make slow, methodical decisions which can enrage the other temperaments.

  16. In marriage, it becomes very easy for a phlegmatic to give up all decision-making to
    his more powerful and lively spouse.

  17. Finances:

    • He is an unmotivated man.

    • He is not likely to achieve much.

    • He may not be rich, successful or progressive.

    • He may often be miserly and not provide much.



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