Saturday night failure
Richard was thoroughly miserable. At 35 this successful entrepreneur was still
single and lonely. ‘I work late most evenings,’ he said, ‘because I dread going
home. There’s nothing to go home to.’ He had never had a girlfriend, his only sexual
contacts being with prostitutes, for which he felt dirty and ashamed.
He believed one of his main problems lay in his inability to join in the dancing at
discos and nightclubs. He had been to many down the years, but try as he might
was petrified of stepping onto the dance floor. He would stand at the bar watching
people dancing and later leaving together, if he stayed that long. Usually he sloped
off well before closing time.
Richard was introduced to the I-T-I-A Formula©, encouraged to enrol for dancing
lessons, and taught how to use anchoring. In stages he visualised himself arriving
at the nightclub, chatting to people and buying drinks, using the ‘cool, calm and
confident’ trigger if he felt his anxiety levels rising. Then he visualised himself
calmly stepping onto the dance floor and moving easily – nothing too flamboyant at
first – then approaching an attractive woman and dancing with her.
Then he took the plunge. At first he was terrified, but within a few weeks he was
able to do everything for which he had set out.
38 JUST DO IT: CONFIDENCE BUILDING ACTIVITIES