365 STEPS TO SELF-CONFIDENCE
The reason why many people are so sensitive to conditions of worth
imposed on them by others is that they’re terrified of rejection. They’re
afraid that others have a poor opinion of them and won’t want to know
them or, worse, will be openly hostile if they don’t conform.
How do you feel about rejection? Write down this sentence:‘The reason why I’m so scared of rejection is...’Quickly, without thinking about it too hard, write down the first half-
dozen reasons that come to mind.278Accept that others have the right to say no to your requests, just as you
do. But don’t take this as a rejection of you as a person, nor assume
they’ll reject allyour requests.
Remember, the salesperson who wins the most orders is the one who
shrugs off the ‘nos’ and keeps on calling.279Accept that it’s impossible to please everyone. The sooner you realise
this, the better, because then you cease wasting time and energy, physical
and emotional, trying to achieve the unachievable. Confident people:■ Know their own minds and live according to their own values.
■ Don’t necessarily like rejection, but they can cope with it.
■ Know you can’t control how others think and behave, and don’t
make themselves unhappy worrying about it.
■ Also know that rejection can be a powerful source of learning. You
may learn, for example, that certain ways of approaching some
people in particular situations work better than others. You always
learn more from being rejected than not trying.280