Approval-seeking behaviourimplies going along with what you think others
expect out of fear that they won’t like you. It means being excessively concerned
with what others think.
Obviously there is nothing wrong with wanting to be liked and accepted; it’s a
natural human desire. But it becomes a problem when you allow others’ approval
to dictate how you feel about yourself. Psychologists recognise this as a deep-seated
neurosis. For example, many individuals well into adulthood are still subcon-
sciously attempting to please their parents, teachers and the other children in the
playground, and many others are a slave to other people’s ideas and opinions.
Approval-seeking behaviour does have short-term benefits; it keeps others happy,
gets them off your back. But it could be at the expense of your long-term self-
esteem. You cannot find long-term happiness by constantly pandering to others.
Besides, people soon tire of a ‘yes-man’.
There is only one person whose approval you really need, and that’s you. Other
people’s expectations are not your concern. You didn’t create them, and you don’t
own them. If others don’t like what you do that’s their problem, not yours.
When you stop doing things just because others expect it, the sense of freedom can
be exhilarating. No longer do you have to pretend to be something you’re not. You
always have the choice of how to respond to others’ expectations. Use it wisely!
Give up approval-seeking
behaviour