41 GIVE UP APPROVAL-SEEKING BEHAVIOUR
We can secure other people’s approval if we do right
and try hard, but our own is worth a hundred of it.
Mark Twain
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Which if any of these are typical of you?
■ Constantly craving recognition from others.
■ Comparing yourself unfavourably with others.
■ Being daunted by someone else’s success.
■ Being over generous to try to get others to like you.
■ Not applying for a promotion because you don’t believe you’re up to
the job.
■ A tendency to seek out others who are shy or have low self esteem.
■ Feeling like a victim most of the time.
■ Frequently making excuses to avoid social events, or simply not
turning up.
■ Crossing the road or hiding to avoid speaking to someone.
■ Staying in the background, for instance by avoiding wearing bright
clothes or staying quiet when you’ve got something to say.
If you’ve answered yes to any of the above, what does this say about
you? What changes do you intend to make?
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If you ever catch yourself thinking ‘What would so and so think?’, ‘ If I
do or say this, what will people say?’ or similar thoughts, change them.
They reveal a desperate need for approval. Immediately substitute them
with the affirmation:
‘I am my own person.’
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