365 STEPS TO SELF-CONFIDENCE
Don’t give the impression that you’re just waiting for a pause so that
you can jump in. A conversation was once described as ‘two people
waiting for the other to stop speaking so they can start talking.’
There is often a temptation to use listening time to rehearse your
reply. If you have a tendency to do this, try the following. When the
speaker stops talking, count to three before replying. Then you know
they really have finished, and are not just pausing to take a breath.298Check that you’ve heard and understood accurately by giving feedback.
Precis what you’ve heard. For example:‘If I understand you correctly, you’re saying...’or‘So you think...?’The speaker will soon correct you if you’ve misunderstood.299Learn to read non-verbals. Remember, body language imparts eight
times as much information as words, and tone of voice five times as
much. Where verbals and non-verbals contradict each other, believe the
non-verbals.300Good listening doesn’t mean agreeing if you don’t like what you’re
hearing. If you disagree you’re perfectly at liberty to say so. You can
acceptanother’s views without sharingthem, so be aware that it’s all
right to agree to differ.
You don’t have to be a sheep to be popular. People are instinctively
drawn to someone who has strength of character and a mind of their own.301