‘So glad I’d listened’
A client told me this story.
‘I was travelling home on a bus when an elderly man, stinking of alcohol, sat down
beside me, a bit too close for my liking. My first instinct was to move to another
seat, which is what I would normally have done, but the bus was crowded and I
didn’t want to appear rude. I felt extremely uncomfortable.
The man started talking to me. At first I listened. He seemed harmless enough, so I
decided to ask some open-ended questions to see if I could keep the conversation
going. I noticed he had several carrier bags with him, and asked him if he enjoyed
shopping. He said he didn’t particularly, but since his wife died several years ago
he had no choice. I asked about his wife, and he told me how much he missed her.
They had known each other at school, married young and been together for nearly
half a century. He had got into the habit of having a few drinks with his friends on
the way home from town to delay going back to an empty house. He seemed glad
to have an opportunity to talk about his wife, and wished me a cheery goodbye
when he reached his stop.
As he rose from his seat, he said he’d enjoyed our conversation, but I was aware I
hadn’t really said very much. I was glad I had listened to him. And I noticed my
uncomfortable feelings had gone completely.’
43 BE A GOOD LISTENER