365 STEPS TO SELF-CONFIDENCE
When you’re unhappy about something, how do you normally express it?- Let people know in a roundabout way, eg by dropping hints or
going into a bad mood? - Keep quiet for fear of causing a scene or upsetting others?
- Say how you feel and be specific?
- Lose your temper or look for someone to blame?
306(2) above describes passive behaviour. Passivity stems from lack of
confidence.
If you’re a passive person, what is it about you that makes others
treat you as they do? Write down your thoughts, and affirm that you
intend to break away from submissive behaviour and become more
assertive.307(1) and (4) in Confidence Builder 306 describe aggressive behaviour.
Aggressive people don’t mind taking advantage of others and take little
account of their feelings. They believe aggression is the only way to get
what they want.
Aggression is often a smokescreen used by insecure people to hide
their insecurities. They actually lack confidence, but don’t admit it.
They use fear and guilt to manipulate people, either by being loud and
intimidating or, just as reprehensible, using subtle put-downs, sarcasm
and emotional blackmail.
Confident people have no need to abuse, exploit or humiliate
others less self-assured than themselves. Big egos do not equate to high
self-esteem.308