45 HOW TO BE ASSERTIVE
This above all: to thine own self be true. And it must
follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false
to any man.
William Shakespeare
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Use these affirmations:
‘I think, speak and act assertively at all times.’
‘I used to be passive, but all that is changing.
I am becoming more assertive every day.’
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Mentally rehearse potentially difficult situations. ‘Imagine’ and ‘feel’
yourself handling them assertively. ‘See’ others responding accordingly.
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Practise assertive non-verbals. Be aware of the non-verbal signals you
give out:
■ Talk unhurriedly, with a clear, steady tone.
■ Make a habit of taking slightly more time to reply.
■ Give relaxed eye contact: not too much, not too little.
■ Avoid fidgeting, scratching, and touching your hair and face.
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Make your point clearly, with conviction, and don’t waffle. Then shut
up. If you don’t succeed straight away, say it again, and if necessary keep
repeating it. Change the wording if you wish, but not the message. Stay
calm and don’t allow yourself to be sidetracked.
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