Assertive people find it easy to say no when they mean no. They don’t worry
about being seen in a bad light. They know that just because they’ve been asked
doesn’t mean they’re under any obligation. Passive people, on the other hand,
usually find it hard to refuse.
Say you’re asked a favour. It’s inconvenient. You’d like to say no.
■ Passive behaviour:Saying, ‘yes’ while thinking, ‘What a nuisance. Oh well!’
or making a string of half-hearted excuses in a feeble attempt to avoid causing
offence.
■ Aggressive behaviour: A blunt response, probably while thinking, ‘Why the
... should I?’
■ Assertive behaviour:A warm, friendly smile, while saying, ‘No, I’m sorry it’s
not convenient. I’ve made other arrangements’.
In the long run saying yes when you don’t mean it only makes things worse for
yourself. It puts you at greater risk of stress and lowers your confidence and self-
respect.
Say no when you
mean no