48 HOW TO ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT
The greatest danger for most of us is not that our
aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too
low and we reach it.
Michelangelo
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Next time you feel like chickening out of asking for something for fear
of looking stupid or provoking an angry reaction, ask yourself these
three questions:
■ What’s the worst thing that could happen?
■ Could I handle it? (Tell yourself ‘yes!’)
■ What’s the best strategy?
Then ignore your fears, go ahead and ask anyway!
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Make a list of requests you would like to make of other people. For
example, would you like to ask your boss for a raise? Is there anyone
you would like to ask for a date? Take the top three or four requests.
Work out what you’ re going to say beforehand. Mentally rehearse
yourself making the request and it being granted. Then go and do it!
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When you ask, first be clear of exactly what you want. Then:
■ Ask with the firm expectation that you will succeed.
■ Don’t beat around the bush. Start with ‘I want’ or ‘I would like’.
■ Avoid apologetic phrases like: ‘I’m afraid’ and ‘I’m sorry but...’
■ Don’t be sidetracked.
If you like, soften your request with a phrase such as ‘I realise this may be
a little inconvenient, but...’, making sure that your body language shows
that you expect to have your demand met.
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