50 EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCEThere’s an intimate connection between your breathing and emotional
state. When you breathe slowly and deeply, anxiety and irritability melt
away. Try it! Breathe slowly and deeply for two minutes. Then make
your breathing rapid and shallow for two minutes. How do you feel?
Whenever you want to take charge of your emotions, take your
awareness to your breathing. Take a long, slow breath and let out a loud
extended sigh. Breathe slowly and evenly for a few minutes. You’ll
definitely feel calmer.349
Don’t try to suppress your emotions – in the long term, this intensifies
them. Sooner or later you willhave to face up to them.
Don’t deliberately avoid situations which bring discomfort, for
instance making excuses to stay away from a party because of shyness,
or refusing to apply for a promotion for fear of the interview. Avoidance
temporarily dulls the pain, but also eliminates any possibility of having
emotions you wouldlike – fun, friendship, adventure and so on. It’s not
much fun staying at home when you know your friends are out
enjoying themselves, or watching others less able than yourself
leapfrogging over you at work.
Face up to your emotions rather than run away from them, learn to
handle them more appropriately, and their effect on you soon diminishes.350