‘It feels really good to do something for myself ’
One person who was motivated to change was Lynne. She had lived by other
people’s rules for most of her life, usually allowing others to make decisions on her
behalf. Then one evening, after a heated row, her abusive and manipulative hus-
band of 20 years stormed out in a rage, threatening to throw himself over a cliff. He
expected her to beg him to return, as she had always done before. But unbeknown
to him she had been quietly working on her confidence and this time she refused.
At first he threatened, then he pleaded, but she held firm.
This was the beginning of a new phase in her life. Six months later, no longer facing
the daily outbursts which she had previously endured, her home was a haven of
calm. She had taken computing lessons, found a well paid job, enrolled for evening
art classes, and was performing with a local group of singers. Even her son, no
longer having to endure the tension, was happier and more settled at school.
‘Since I worked on my confidence,’ Lynne said, ‘I feel as if I’m in control. It feels
really good to do something for myself that I’ve always wanted to do. And I know if I
don’t I’ve only got myself to blame’.
5 GETTING MOTIVATED